An Open Letter to My Daughter Serving in Iraq
Tommi
… I just finished my reading assignment and I have to get in the shower or be late for class, but ... forget that ... late for class is better than not saying “hi” and “I love you” and “I am missing you right down to the bone just now” ... sometimes the missing you gets positively "fierce" but I wiggle through those moments remembering that you’re ok, telling myself you’re ok (mostly, I can remember that) and I get on with the business of my day – the next 75 pages and classes and teaching and growing ... I think of you being proud of me and I keep going ... I wear my orange sweater - the one we bought together on our last-chance-to-shop, "say goodbye"-for-two-years night ... I cry a bit, but not too long and not too much … I’m ok … I’m ok … I do my Estee skin care (blue-brown-purple-pink) and lavender eyes and mega lashes – making “girl looks” for both of us – or maybe just for me, and I imagine you are here, making plans for goin’ out tonight and feeling all proud you have a mom doin’ grad school at Purdue –makin’ life keep happening ...
My dear Daughter … I am so proud of you … what can I say? Making a human being is an amazing thing, really. First I make you, and then we make each other in wholly unexpected ways. …child, friend, confidant, honing stone (oh, yes), shelter, competitor, advisor, teacher … my own flesh in motion outside my body … which of these have we not been one to the other?
And now you are on the other side of the planet wearing a uniform that doesn’t really fit as much of you as has to wear it … and what can I say? Am I proud of you? By God I am, but come home soon … I’m keeping a place for you till you get here … I’m tying you down in this world ... keeping you connected to blue carpet and make up and mathematics and gossip and coffee at the Uptown and Fiona Apple piano music and photo albums and eight alarms you miss every day and it doesn’t matter when you come to think of it after all … and I miss you right down to the bone and … I’ve gotcha and there are so many "strings" attached to you, tying you to home that there is no chance at all I will lose you. Count on that, Kid! Lean into those words like a promise, like when we learned to climb rocks and a woman on the other end anchored the rope so we couldn’t fall – well, that’s me now and I gotcha … no worries, ok?
Tommi
Two months shy of fulfilling a six-year commitment to the Minnesota State Militia, Tommi was called to a two-year deployment in Iraq. She serves as she lives, with integrity, competence, and compassion.
posted by Mary Godwin @ Tuesday, February 08, 2005
4 comments
4 Comments:
That entry was nearly poetic, Mary. Your daughter is courageous not only for venturing into a land very unlike her own, but also for choosing to represent her people and to help others. She should feel priveleged to have a mother who seems to be as much a nurturer as a friend. Stay safe, Tommi.
My dear dear mother...
Yes, here I am in Iraq, knowing the prayers and thoughts of my family and friends at home are warming me against the chill of desert nights. It is still "winter" here, and actually cold after dark. I've had so many moments of somehow knowing you were with me these past few days -- it is really quite a wonderful feeling.
I am honored by the pride you take in me, the trust you bestow upon me to be the woman I know in my heart to be. I want to gently correct your "two years" to eighteen months, though most reading will understand the weight of a "long deployment" in either case.
I have a couple things to share here, an extra sheet to be "stapled" to your post, and many others I will e-mail or blog later. Today I had the teeth-chattering, knee-shaking experience of presenting a brief to a room full of officers and experienced military personnel on essentials of restricted access to our post (population 20,000) and how to enforce that standard. I have been on this post exactly eight days, and here I am at full-throttle in my new job. Believe me, I was thinking of you the whole time, as I confidently flashed the laser pointer to the slides and addressed a "full-bird" Colonel as if I'd been doing this my whole life! I had you with me today. I needed that... thanks.
The other 'you' moment was when I was at my "office," which is located in such a way that I choose to spend most of the day wearing my body armor. The afternoon shift LT for the group sharing our building determined that it is safe for personnel to simply keep their body armor available inside the building and wear it only when outside..... well, I keep mine on, in the office and outside.... it's about 20 extra pounds, and the LT asked me why. I replied, "'cause I told my momma I would do everything *I* can do to keep myself safe, and I'm keeping my promise...." It was a good moment.
I love you, Mom... very much indeed. I am healthy and strong here. Each day that passes I cross out on the calendar, and look forward to my return home. Until then, I remain your daughter and friend forever,
Tommi
Mary and Tommi...
Thank you for sharing. It is a privilege to be able to look through this window and see glimpses of you walking your paths. I know we are all here together on a relatively small world and under the vast wings of a limitless God, but through these connections, I feel so much closer. Miles cannot be much of a distance when we keep loved ones close in prayer. I am proud of you both.
Love, Yvonne
My name is Tommi too and I am a 29 year old female from CT - I am floored- another girl with my name is too good to be true. I'm sure she also gets her fair share of looks when she introduces herself to people. I am also a daughter of a vietnam veteran - your daughter is doing a fabulous job representing our country- may god bless you and her and the rest of your loved ones and bring her home safe and sound. Please feel free to correspond with me - my email is tommi77@msn.com you should be the proudest mom ever - even though you are over seas and do not have much time- i would love to correspond with you as well Tommi - and when you get home maybe I can grab you a beer and thank you for defending our home in person - please keep that promise to your mom - never stop looking over your shoulder until you are able to hug your mom in person - i love you and so does my dad - god bless
- the other Tommi
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